...you're not in Phoenix.

Earlier this week I stumbled onto an online forum that asked: Where is the better place to live, Tucson or Phoenix?

Although a seemingly simple question, to residents of both cities the legend of this perplexity lies amongst the best of the great two-sided debates, somewhere above "Pepsi or Coke" and just below "to be or not to be."

As an ex-Phoenician turned Tucsonan, I have grown a strong opinion on this matter backed by over four years of deep, open-minded contemplation. While I'm not originally from Phoenix (a Faux-nician?), I've spent enough time in both cities to understand the differences.

If you're wondering which city fits you, your age is probably the determining factor. Here's an abbreviated overview of the two cities in those terms:

Kids
Kids go to school, kids play video games, kids ask too many question, and kids like to run around in the park. While both cities cover the first three characteristics of children equally, each has something different to offer in terms of city parks. Tucson Parks are numerous, 127 in total. That's a big number for a relatively small area.

Phoenix parks are much more spread out and crowded. The city boasts about 200 in a much larger area, and are more crowded and industrialized in comparison to Tucson's more secluded and shaded parks that are great for families and running/walking. (Most Phoenicians walk in air-conditioned malls, not parks.)

In a related category, kids are like pets, pets run in the park too, dogs are pets, and Men's Health Magazine named Tucson the 4th best city for dogs.

20-somethings
As a college student, I couldn't ask for a better place to learn. Since Tucson is not a metropolis area, its not as easy to get lost in the crowd. We are supported by a town that pours into campus and a campus that is deeply invested in the community. The result is a sense of belonging that comes with your education. Bear Down Fridays bring the campus and the surrounding community together to cheer on the University of Arizona football team.

The Arizona State campus in Tempe, Ariz. lies in the middle of fast-paced urban living, and the surrounding Phoenix area doesn't pay nearly enough attention. Not necessarily out of negligence, but because is busy with the hustle and bustle. The plus? An actual nightlife.

The bar scene includes areas-- like Tempe, Old Scottsdale, Downtown Phoenix, etc... The Tucson nightlife includes a street(Fourth Avenue), one or two good places downtown, and a few scattered venues throughout the city. In fact, Tucson is small enough that it's nearly impossible to run into an acquaintance while out-and-about on the weekends, and the three degrees of separation is the norm compared to the standard seven.

If you're a young professional--move to Phoenix. There's not much more to say about that. Tucson's First Magnus, the one reputable employer of the newly graduated, recently collapsed, filing for bankruptcy and laying off nearly all of its employees.

Families
Both Tucson and Phoenix have a relatively low cost of living and an affordable housing market, despite rapid growth. Phoenix statistics vs. Tucson statistics show that Tucson has consistently had a higher crime rate in both property and violent crime, although slight. And while all public schools in the state of Arizona have been struggling, Tucson is known for it's many charter schools (some very highly ranked). Phoenix, however offers more choices in the realm of private elementary and middle schools.

Retirees
The warm weather of Arizona brings the retired and snow birds from all around the county, and there are many retirement communities all around the state. Outside the gated "50+ only"housing developments, Tucson offers a slower-paced lifestyle and community orientated atmosphere--not to mention a really slow average speed limit. Although, both cities have an equal distribution of old folks; percentage-wise, both cities have a median age of about 31.

And whether it be Tucson or Rphoenix, you'll still be in Arizona. You're chapstick will still melt in the car, you'll drive with oven mitts, Christmas lights are for cacti, and you'll never have the need to save daylight like the 49 other states.